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Seven Common Mistakes in Pastoral Care
delivered by Dan Green, Ph.D., Tuesday, November 11, 2003)
1. Failure to Listen
a. Failure to develop understanding what the other means, intends,
is experiencing
b. Goal: develop understanding of the other’s experience while
maintaining awareness of my own experience
2. Determining a solution prior to understanding
a. Failure: applying one method of relating or helping to all
problems, challenges, or persons (e.g., using confrontation of sin in all
situations)
b. Goal: choose the appropriate method of intervention that is
appropriate for the situation, challenge, and unique person
3. Poor boundaries
a. Failure: over-involvement – loosing one’s self in the other
person in attempting to help the other - compromising personal boundaries
(time, touch, emotional involvement, …) in an attempt to help
b. Goal: maintain appropriate boundaries in areas such as time,
touch, emotional involvement, role definitions, etc. so that the pastoral
counselor has safety, clarity of purpose, and able to model effective
living
4. Detachment
a. Failure: under-involvement, emotional detachment, cynicism,
burnout, objectification of people and thus treating them like an object
b. Goal: maintain healthy boundaries consistent with pastoral care
role – see other’s as God sees them
5. Devaluing our position
a. Failure: not recognizing the value of a Pastoral Counselor’s
presence: comforting, supportive, healing
6. Offering Unrealistic Expectations
a. Failure: offering the promise of instant healing, absence of
future problems, constant availability of the Pastoral Counselor, etc.
b. Goal: facilitate the development of realistic expectations in
faith
7. Failing to recognize the work of God in the process (or) relying
on our own strength
a. Failure: over-emphasis on techniques (even if “spiritual
techniques”),
b. Goal: recognize God’s presence in the moment and facilitate
bringing this awareness to the counselee - dialogue-prayer (pray without
ceasing) – Counselor should be in consistent dialogue with three parties
during the counseling process: the counselee, self, and God |
